Hills I will die on as a licensed therapist who works with trauma

No emotions or health symptoms are inherently good or bad. They are all trying to protect us, even the uncomfortable ones. Attempting to avoid or push them away will only give them more control over you. Yes, that includes the chronic pain, shame, anger and all the most unpleasant feelings. Once you master the acceptance over these feelings, you can truly have freedom.

Spirituality, psychology and science are interconnected. Many spiritual, ancient practices have been proven by science, only long after people knew them to be effective healing methods. Before, they were dismissed as "woo woo," invalidating the very real human (often feminine) wisdom. Some of my favorite methods include mindfulness, meditation and radical acceptance that are know integral aspects of the most evidence-based therapy treatments (ACT and DBT).

You are the expert in your own body & mind. Do not give that power away by trusting whatever mental health “experts” are saying online- unless it rings true for your experience. Even the most widely spread mental health advice may only work for a certain subsection of individuals. Listening blindly to experts takes away your own power and inherent wisdom of your body.

No one is born inherently evil or "bad." They are unfortunate reactions to trauma that became mistaken as personality traits. Before judging others, or labeling them as "narcissists," take a moment to have compassion for the protective mechanisms that likely are there to shield from intense shame and insecurity. At the same time, these behaviors are still hurtful to others and brings me to my next point...

What happened to you is not your fault. AND healing from it is your responsibility (yes I know it's unfair, and both things can be true at the same time).

Crying is a nervous system regulation tool. Please stop telling people (or yourself!) to “stop crying” or making them feel embarrassed for the natural expression of emotions. This only ends up resulting in emotional dysregulation, stemming from shame and fear of emotions that will have harmful consequences on mental & physical health down the line (I've seen the suppression of emotions leading to chronic health challenges, chronic pain, migraines, etc.). Crying, laughing, shaking, dancing, punching a pillow are all ways to release the excess emotion that lives in your body.

Shame & criticism are not great motivators. In fact, most of the cripping anxiety, depression, procrastination (and more) I've seen in my practice stem from internalized shame narratives. We usually tend to think that we can motivate ourselves through criticism, but it tends to keep us stuck in the shame spiral even more. The more you can motivate yourself from a place of acceptance and compassion, the farther it will take you!